The mirror scene. You know it. This is often used by beginning writers as a way to show the reader what the POV character looks like. It goes something like this:
Courtney peered into the mirror and gasped. Her makeup was smeared from her blue eyes to her rosy cheeks. Tears rolled into the creases of her full lips. Her blonde hair was matted and in desperate need of a brushing.
The reader can picture Courtney with blue eyes, blonde hair, and full lips, and will be able to do so even after she’s cleaned herself up. But at what expense? The reader’s been torn from the story in order to learn these things. Were they really that important and worth the risk of losing the reader? Does it matter that this character has blonde hair? Do her full lips or blue eyes move the story forward or cause conflict?
If the story were in deep POV, Courtney may notice the smeared makeup and the matted hair, but she wouldn’t think of her eyes as being blue, her hair as blonde, or her lips full. She sees herself every day and would only notice differences in her appearance, unless she’s vain, which she’s not. Would the scene work if the writer removed these descriptors? That’s subjective. Some might say it would, but the scene would be weak.
A better method of introducing physical attributes to a character is through the eyes of someone else. In this case, someone could walk in on Courtney and make the exact observation (internally) as she did in the above sample. If this person was someone who knew her well, they wouldn’t necessarily notice the color of her eyes or hair either. However, they would notice she’s been crying and what that’s done to her appearance. A stranger could see more than that. Someone who’s attracted to her may see beyond the smeared makeup and matted hair, and only take in the vulnerability in her blue eyes and the poutiness of her full lips.
What if the story wouldn’t work to have someone come in on Courtney? This can drive some newbie writers crazy. The novel would start without the reader knowing what the POV character looked like. True. However, most stories begin with an inciting incident (or should), so the reader is busy reading about what’s going on rather than worrying about the color of Courtney’s hair. If not, you haven’t done your job hooking her.
Focus on getting the reader hooked on the story, then sneak the physical attributes in when the pace slows.
Have you used a mirror scene? Why or why not? How do you feel when you read mirror scenes in the work of others?
Lynnette Labelle
www.labelleseditorialservices.com
I’ve never used a mirror scene to convey description. Maybe it can be done effectively, though. Might be fun to try sometime. As you point out, the real problem is mundane description, the kind found in police reports (“suspect is five feet inches tall, with blue eyes and matted blond hair”).
Mary: LOL That’s hilarious.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
I am thankful I saw the advice about not using mirrors early on when I first started writing. It hadn’t occured to me to use that method yet, but it might have if not for the cautionary tale I’d seen against it. Now I get annoyed if I see an author doing it because it does seem like a cheap trick. In my own writing I use a myriad of methods including comparing another characters looks to the main one. Such as maybe she only comes up to his chin and he is six feet tall, which requires her to look up (of course, it comes out sounding much nicer than this example, but you know what I mean). There are lots of ways to sneak description in.
The one drawback is when you sparse it out, some people miss it. I had one beta reader who complained I lacked description of my characters. She felt embarrassed when I quoted numerous passages to her showing all the places where it showed up. Everything was there and painted a full picture, but I think she was used to the older style writing where authors stuck every detail in one paragraph (or two). Mine was doled out over a several scenes. I did make an effort after that complaint to reiterate some details just so the reader would get subtle reminders as the story progressed.
I can’t think of any time I’ve used a mirror scene as described above (one scene where a character looks into a dark window and someone who is not the character looks back, yes, but not a mirror scene).
I’ve never understood why we should feel obliged to describe our characters that much, anyhow. Physical traits only matter if it helps drive the story.
Susan: Comparing to another character is a good idea, but even this can come across as a cheap trick if not done properly. If you can compare the characters and it feels like a part of the story, this works. If it feels like the author threw the comparison in to show the reader what the characters looks like, it’ll flop.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
Katherine: Some readers prefer to be told what the characters look like, and others would rather imagine them. It’s tough to please everyone.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
Brilliant. If there’s one thing I hate it’s a mirror scene. The minute I come across a mirror scene the book is bordering on DNF – always if it’s right in the beginning. I don’t want a detailed description of the characters, what I want is an overall impression via the eyes of another character.
Julia: Exactly. Thanks.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
This is one of my biggest pet peeves in writing, and I always groan internally whenever I come across it. It’s tired and lazy, and your comments about it were spot on. Your character wouldn’t take note of her eye color or what type of hair she has; she sees it all the time!
I think it’s important to describe your characters physically so that the reader can compose a mental image of it, but there are far more original and creative ways to do it.
Layla: Thanks.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com