Lately, there have been articles circulating on blogs suggesting authors shouldn’t use dialogue tags—at all. Not even one. *shakes head* As a freelance editor, I have to set the record straight. YOU NEED DIALOGUE TAGS. DO NOT ELIMINATE THEM COMPLETELY.
That being said, I need to clarify a few things about dialogue tag usage.
1. A dialogue tag is the part of the dialogue that identifies the speaker. Ex. “I love this dress,” Amy said.
In this example, “Amy said” is the dialogue tag.
2. You don’t want to use dialogue tags on every line or every time someone speaks. Often, it’s possible to follow a conversation between two characters with very few dialogue tags.
3. You can use action tags instead of dialogue tags. That way, the tag is doing double duty. It’s showing the reader who’s talking and what the character is doing, which eliminates the “talking head syndrome”.
Ex. “This is the coolest room ever.” Mathew touched the raised wallpaper and slid his toes along the velvety carpet. “I wish I had a room like this.”
In this example, “Mathew touched the raised wallpaper and slid his toes along the velvety carpet” is the action tag. It identifies the speaker while showing the reader what he’s doing.
Note: An action tag can be found before, after, or in between dialogue.
4. Never use a dialogue tag and action tag in the same paragraph. It’s redundant. If you find this in your manuscript, cut the dialogue tag because it has less value than the action tag, which reveals more about the scene, character, or plot.
Ex. Janna swam toward the edge of the pool. “The water’s nice. Why don’t you come in?” she asked.
In this example, you’d simply cut the dialogue tag “she asked”.
5. It’s best to alternate between using dialogue tags, action tags, and no tags. That will keep the writing fresh.
6. When using dialogue tags, stick to “invisible” tags such as “said” and “asked”. It’s okay to occasionally use dialogue tags that show a tone or volume to a character’s voice. Ex. whispered, shouted, yelled, and mumbled.
Note: These are considered “invisible” because readers are able to overlook the tag and not get kicked out of the story.
7. The following are NOT dialogue tags: cried, laughed, smiled, frowned, smirked, winked, sneezed, coughed, joked, teased, flirted, hissed, growled, etc. Those are actions and should be used as ACTION TAGS. If you want your character to smile, he can’t talk at the same time, so either have him talk, then smile or smile, then talk.
Ex.
WRONG: He smiled, “you sure look pretty tonight.” OR He smiled, “You sure look pretty tonight.”
RIGHT: He smiled. “You sure look pretty tonight.”
WRONG: “You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met,” she smiled and reached for his hand.
RIGHT: “You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met.” She smiled and reached for his hand.
Note: Notice the difference in punctuation between the correct and incorrect versions of these examples.
Which dialogue tags bother you the most?
Lynnette Labelle
www.labelleseditorialservices.com
What bothers me the most is the “dialogue-tag synonym rotation.” Said, quipped, commented, affirmed, announced, disclosed, mentioned, remarked, uttered, and back to the top of the order.
Saidisms – growled, groaned, muttered etc. these all drive me bonkers if used for every tag. I ditched 3 books in 5 minutes because I don’t think any of the authors were acquianted with the word ‘said’.
I would debate if ‘cried’ is an action or dialogue tag though. It could be ‘cried’ in the sense of tears running down one’s face, or ‘cried’ in the sense of a loud cry or the boy who cried wolf. But even if it can correctly be used as a diaklogue tag, it’s still a saidism. The correct grammar doesn’t matter if it’s better to avoid using it altogether.
While I’ll agree that the “Overuse” of “he said” “she said” can be annoying, it is ridiculous to think that you should never use dialog tags. Once again, people take one thing and turn it into something else, and usually go overboard.
My suggestion. When it doubt, look at what other authors who *you like* do. Not all rules are definitive. Stepping outside the box can be good, but I think whoever has spread this silly piece of advice just doesn’t know what they are talking about. That said…do I like an action tag over a dialog tag? Yes, absolutely! But for every sentence, no way! Sometimes we need to get the words out without someone scratching their nose, pacing, jumping up, or sitting down. The dialog tag is an important place card in the conversation. It lets the reader know who’s speaking in a line of dialog, and as long as it is used properly, it has an important function.
When editing, I take common words like “said”, “just”, “very”, and any other “comfort” words, and do a mass search. If bright yellow stands out on the page, I change up some of the words, so I won’t bore the reader.
Thanks for the post, Lynnette.
David: I agree.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
Ciara: Cried can be an action, a sound, or an expression (as in “a boy who cried wolf”), but it’s not a way of speaking. That’s why it doesn’t work as a dialogue tag.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
Carmen: I’ll add to your suggestion. If you’re going to look at an author’s work and learn from it, go to new authors from traditional publisher. Best selling authors break all kinds of rules, but that doesn’t mean YOU can or should. Indie authors don’t always hire an editor, so you don’t know if you can trust what they’ve written as far as “rules” go. The best way to see what’s really acceptable is to look at what traditional publishers are willing to market. They’re pickier than ever these days and will only publish what they believe is the best writing out there.
Thanks for sharing.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
Great post, Lynnette. I’m now searching my WIP for paragraphs with both dialogue tags and action tags…must fix
Christina: Glad I could help.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
Dialogue tags I hate include: swore, admitted, apologized, declared and any other tag that essentially repeats the action of the words. (“I’m sorry,” she apologized.) Arrgh!
David: “I’m sorry,” she apologized. I forgot about that one, and all the others that do the same thing. Thanks for sharing.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
Great post. Wish I’d read this before I submitted my WIP for a recent workshop session. I pretty much did everything wrong. But now I know!
Carol: Thanks. At least, you can go back and make changes now.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
I’m more forgiving on many of the loathed verbs like “growled,” even though it is incredibly difficult to growl one word, let alone a sentence.
Love the advice to mix up action-tags with more traditional ones. I agree that it helps vary the prose, and with a light touch, can deeply help the readability of a scene. Retweeted!
This is really helpful thank you. To late for some of my writing but it will certainly help in the future.
What about internal dialogue? I am never sure whether to use italics or inverted commas. Do you use ‘he/she thought’ as much as he/she said?
This is an excellent article, and has really helped me understand how to get dialogue and action tags just write. I also think your advice on learning from new authors from traditional publisher is spot on, and offers a great starting point for a write to see if they’re on the right track.
John: Thanks for the RT.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
Kerry: For internal dialogue, use italics. With deep POV, show the character’s thoughts without italics, but you need to keep the verb tense the same as the rest of the text. For example: Deep POV: What was wrong with me? Was I crazy? I couldn’t do that? Internal dialogue: What’s wrong with me? Am I crazy? I can’t do that. You shouldn’t use “he thought” or “she thought”. We can tell the character is thinking, so this is TELLING.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
Clare: Thanks.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
Lots of great tips here. Thanks!
Diana: Thanks.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
A clear, helpful post. So many newbies wrestle with tags, and there’s way too much misinformation out there. This puts it all in simple, easy to understand terms. Will RT.
Thanks so much for this post. So many people tell new writers they can only use said and maybe ask once in a while. Thank you for confirming there are other possibilities.
Thanks, Anne. I appreciate it.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com
Marleen: Thanks.
Lynnette Labelle
http://www.labelleseditorialservices.com